What I can't stand though is listening to the ridiculous story of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. -Which actually "was originally written in verse by Robert L. May for the Montgomery Ward chain of department stores in 1939 and published as a book to be given to children in the store at Christmas time." (Wikipedia)- I can suspend my disbelief for Santa, that snow men can talk and be your friend, that elves work in sweatshops to make gifts for the spoiled children, or that Santa is able to visit every house in one evening in the whole world. What I can't buy into is that a Reindeer has a nose that glows. Yeah, an animal might have a nose that's really red, but it most certainly won't send an infrared beam that magically helps Santa to see thru blinding fog.
Now, if it was Rudolph the Red Nose Anglerfish, then I could maybe begin to buy into the story that one of Santa's animals has a glowing protrusion.
But until that day, this song is a load of crap, and we should do our best to keep it from ever being played. If we ever want children to listen to what we say, then we first need to start by not telling such ridiculous lies!
2 comments:
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Anglerfish Had a Very Shiny Frontal Appendage And all the Plankton Loved Him As They Tried to Flee His Jaws. All of the Other Crustaceans Were Pierced Upon His Needle Teeth They Never Saw Poor NEMO Who Swam Right By Underneath! Then One Foggy Kwansaa Eve Neptune Came to Say Rudolph, With You Appendage Bright Won't You Hold My Trident Tonite? Then All the Seaworms Swarmed Him They Glowed in Luminescent Glee Rudolph the Red-Nosed Anglerfish You'll Go Down By the Count of 3! -Now ain't that just jaw-inspiring?
Ah, the time of seasoned greetlings is upon us again.... Here's some of my hollowday flavorites: We Three Martin Luther Kings, by Rev. Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, & Charlie Rangel........... The First "Oh, Well!", by A. Nonymuss (also Came up with the Cliche: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!)............ Oh Tanning Bomb, by Chris P. Kritter ............ Hark! The Hair-Raising Anglerfish Stings!, by Rudolph D. Redknowsanglerfish.............. Oh Holey Socks, by Darnit Aggin................ Silent Nite, by Mute Singer............... Away With The Manager, By Gonna Gitt Promoted............... Sandy Paws Is Comin' To Town, by Beach Doggy-dogg............... Chester's Nuts Roasting By An Open Fire, by Eifel Aszleap Bideffyre............ Dingle Belles, by Blondie......... Oh Come All Ye Faithless, by L. Ron Hubbard & Mary Baker Eddy........... Mary's Bouy Child, by The Lighthouse Choir with The Harbor Lights Orchestra.............. and last, but not least is: Druggy The Snowman, by Miss Anne Fettemine. These Holiday Hits are Available for a Limited Time Only at Your Local Seedy Store!!! So, Hurry!!!!!
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