The thoughts that were thunk and the goings on of my life.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Something to Digest

I was going thru a Reader's Digest today (while in the bathroom, because we know that is the true resting place for all Reader's Digest magazines) and I noticed that there was a ridiculous number of advertisements. There were the full page ads, the half page ads, the multiple page adds with fine print aimed at people that are too old to read anything that small, and the scourge of all ads...the little cards that drop out all over the place.

I sat there simultaneously bringing the end of a normal Reader's Digest while ending my own digestion and ripped out the pages that were only advertisement pages. Then I began to count pages on which there was any actual content. That's when I began to realize that it wasn't just a feeling...there really are too many ads in Reader's Digest. For example, of the first 83 pages only 31 have any content on them..31! That's ridiculous, it's like going to a 2 hour movie and having to sit thru 3 hours and 21 minutes of previews. Fortunately, the process of taking off the extra pork from my* Reader's Digest was quite satisfying and a routine that I think I will repeat with all future magazines.

*Dad, for some reason the Post Office decided that I was you and then informed Reader's Digest that you moved and I've gotten RD for the last 3 months. So just in case you were wondering why you hadn't seen yours, it's because they're here. You're welcome to use my bathroom anytime you like though.


Anonymous said...

Son: Now you know why I have no use for the local Pest Orifice. About every 8 months, THEY decide that I moved and then forward all the mail to you or Timbuktu...Lots of fun undoing it all! I send all my outgoing mail via OTHER town's facilities. Don't get me started (aaarrrggh!!!). Also, I concur Re: R.D.'s ad-nauseum...Haven't really missed reading the toilet-user's companion. Won't be renewing it. You can, if you wish (might come in handy should you ever suddenly run out of T.P.!!), just go right ahead and fill out the renewal ad card, they've got 10 or 15 of 'em in each issue. I'd sure hate for you to get bored while you're on the thinker's stool!....

Otis said...

Thanks, I'll just keep the ones I get, but probably won't renew either. I haven't had a subscription to a magazine since college, so there's no reason to start now...especially when the internet has more info for free.

I see you were a bit bored last night too. I'm really looking forward to Monday.