Dear Bank,

You remember how a few months ago, I asked you if there was any way to renegotiate our mortgage so that I could get a better rate and drop PMI? You remember how you made up these really dumb astronomical numbers trying to keep me from redoing the loan?

Well, turns out the joke's on you. I went elsewhere to refinance my loan, they got all the money, you got none of it, and then you know what? You bought my exact same loan back from me! You could have made a lot more money, processed a lot less paperwork, and reduced the number of pointless middle men (I'm looking at you Title Insurance company!) by simply working with me. Instead you lost out big, and you're stuck with the less-profitable loan anyway.

In fact, you're so dumb, that just on your imbecilic actions alone, I think I might just move my regular account (which was also with you) to a credit union instead.

Meanwhile, I'm happy that I'm no longer paying you that old rate, no longer paying your stupid mortgage insurance, and no longer letting you earn even more interest on my money in an escrow account.

You stood to gain so much more, but instead your short-sighted greed meant you gained nothing and passed the buck on to a bunch of other people instead.

Sincerely,
Otis

Tribute to Abi

This week is Abi's last on the planet. So in memoriam I wanted to make a tribute to her and all that she's brought to our lives even though her's wasn't as long as anybody had hoped.

Ever since the start, I saw how happy you made my future wife, and knew you were something special.

Your goofy antics always kept things around here light-hearted.

You even did well in your beginning computer course, but failed once you learned how to work the mouse.

Helpful with yardwork

Focus of many a squirrel's nightmares

Rescuer of countless drowning sticks and balls

Even when you were bad, we still loved you and mostly wanted to laugh.

And while you never got over your fear of storms or beeping sounds.

You were always there to destroy our enemies

Be they squirrels

Or balls

You defended us nightly from the vicious laser

You were always up for a trip outside

To chase a ball with full tenacity.

And crash with equally as full force

Willing to make new friends.

Even though you weren't always willing to share.

But your love you did share, and gave cautiously but fully

You've been such a great dog, but unfortunately you drew the short straw when it came to genetics.

You almost died multiple times because of your various weird allergies. But we fixed those.

But the part we couldn't fix was your back. We didn't know that when you were hurting your feet, it's because you couldn't feel them anymore. That when you would make an accident in the house it wasn't cause you were lazy, but because you couldn't feel anything.

And finally, it became more noticeable that you were hurting and couldn't live your life fully anymore with your pack.

But now it's all become too much and it's time for you to go to Doghalla, where the rivers are clear, the weather is warm, the sticks are always floating, and the squirrels only have 3 legs.

We'll miss you, but never as much as you missed us

Sleep well...

Abigail

December 12, 2002 - December 22, 2009

Update (12/21/2009):
As a bit of a Christmas miracle Abi's health took a shocking turn for the better late last week. She went from being in pain and having lots of accidents and a poor quality of life for over a month straight, to being very joyful & bouncy and having only a few minor accidents. Because she's happy and not in pain, she received a stay of execution.

We don't know how long that this period of healthiness will last, but we're thankful for it, and it makes for a much happier holiday season.

If You Can't Say Something Nice...

From Remodeling 2009

The wife and I recently got gutters installed on our house.  Overall, they're really awesome, but there's this one place that's not right and needs to be fixed, but the gutter company has been dragging their feet on (fortunately it means I'm also dragging my feet on paying them, so at least I have some leverage).  Essentially the whole thing boils down to improperly explained for what a part was, and then not being able to take the day off to supervise the whole thing (something that's immensely important for really any work somebody else is doing to your place).

After playing phone-tag with the sales rep for this large gutter company we got in touch earlier this afternoon an I said I needed a do-over on some of the work, and asked if he could meet me out there to pull a new piece.  He then said, "No problem, I'll need to call into the office, see who we can get down there and get it taken care of for you."

Later this afternoon I got a call-back from him, I was pretty stoked at the potential fast turn-around and said, "[Contractor's Name] what's up?"

He then replies with the following:
"I got this customer [Otis] out here and he's being a little bitch.  Yeah, there's something he's just being nitpicky about and we already sent a guy out there*.  Frankly we can do it, but I'm gonna need him to be there cause I got no clue what he wants.  Trying not to be a dick, but don't need this from him.  When we get somebody in the area can we just swing by and fix the problem.  I mean, what do you think I should do?"

*They did send somebody, but they wouldn't allow him to do the job necessary because they wanted to see if the patch-job would work...it didn't.

My response:
"Well, first off, if I were you I'd make sure that I'm not calling my customer when laying into them."
[Begin stammering and jaw on floor]
"Secondly, I hope you realize I'm not trying to be a "little bitch" about this.  It's just that I spent several thousand dollars for your product and I want to make sure I'm satisfied with it before I consider the job to be done.  Most everything is great, but there's just one piece that needs to be fixed."

From there on the rest of the conversation was in the following vien,
"I'm so sorry"
"God, today's just been the worst day"
"I've had like 10 bad calls in a row"
"I shouldn't have called you that"
"Oh man, there's nothing I can do to take any of that back now"
"I shouldn't have used language like that even when calling into the office"
"Oh, don't worry I'm going to get you taken care of"
"I'm so sorry"

Me, "Not a problem, I understand, stuff like this happens, let's just get it taken care of"

I think that was the conclusion of the absolute worst phone-call of that sales guy's career.  Fortunately I got a good laugh out of it, and hopefully we'll now get the work done right.

One Year in the House

The other day marked the one year anniversary of when we bought our house.

This past year has marked a lot of trails, victories, setbacks, learning, joy, exhaustion, satisfaction, fear, creativity, and confidence.

Here is a pretty comprehensive list of the things we've done since getting the house (original condition):

1. Replaced the roof (before, during, after)
   
2. Removed fake shutters, screen doors, house numbers (that banged my head), cheap hose reel, over-sized gutter (after)
   
3. Replaced locks
   
4. Repaired the foundation (before and after)
   
5. Tore out a wall (before, during, after)
   
6. Redid majority of the sheetrock
7. Rerouted lighting/ducts
8. Installed radiant barrier
9. Added supports in rafters
10. Created new washer/dryer area
11. Installed new electrical service (old)
    
12. Got new (safe) wiring to kitchen/bath
13. Complete gut & remodel of the bathroom (before, during, after)
    
14. Entirely new plumbing for all incoming lines
15. Installed tankless water heater
16. Refinished floors (before)
    
17. Painted interior rooms
18. Fixed all windows so that they are now double-hung
19. Replaced, repaired, or added fascia boards around entire house
20. Created support for sophet
21. Removed all boards that were touching the ground (aka termite highway)
22. Replaced back door
23. Replaced door to garage
24. Installed Crestview door kit (before, during, after)
    
25. Painted entry doors (before, after)
    
26. Replaced dozens of rotted/rotting siding boards
27. Added new corners for add-on section
28. Installed metal lathe and supports for skirting
29. Created a garden
30. Sanded entire house to bare wood
31. Used 33 tubes of caulk to seal up the house
32. Bondo'd cracks and divets
33. Cut down 1 tree
34. Trimmed all trees in backyard, including Ash (before, round 1, round 2)
    
35. Cabled the ash tree
36. Installed gutters & gutter screens
37. Painted exterior (before, during, almost there, after)
    
38. Removed scraggly bushes from front of house (before, after)
    
39. Dug pit for grounding plate
40. Undid jerry-rigged setup for fan in bedroom
41. Added setup for fan in livingroom
42. Created a bar between kitchen and livingroom
43. Added GFCI circuits where needed
44. Removed old waterheater closet
45. Removed mercury lamp on corner
46. All new exterior lighting
47. Insulated plumbing
48. Put up barriers in all rat-entry points
49. Added piping to divert water away from the foundation (before)
    
50. And fell through ceiling

I think 50 is enough for now. What I love though is how much we were able to get done while still traveling, working full-time, finding new eateries, playing in parks with the dog, brewing beers, seeing family, running, biking, watching BSG (hey, that's a huge time commitment), having friends over and just...living!

But, I think really the best thing is to look where we were a year ago:

And then look where we are today:

Big thanks go out to all the friends, family and contractors that helped us.
Family:
  Greg, Debby, Hannah, and Regina
Friends:
  Brian, Amy, Jeremy & Jess, Whitney, Rachel & Andrew, David, Kelly, Stephen, Pam & Don, Val & Paweena, Kasandra, Kristy, Heidi, Britney, and Danielle & Justin
Contractors:
  Bobby Platte, Bob Jahnke, ABC Handyman, Longhorn Roofing, Chango's Tree Service, Austin Gutter King, Mullen Electric, and all the illegals we unwittingly employed.

But most importantly to the Wife, for putting up with everything and being a good sport when things went wrong.

The Words Coming Out of My Fingers

Per my friend Evans having this on his blog, I thought it was pretty cool, so I decided to add it to my own:

Link

I Before E, Except After C?

So I asked Keith if he fancied reigniting either science or ancient policies regarding the leisurely use of caffiene and codein.  This led to a feisty discussion about conterfeit foreign species of Rottweilers, their height quite surfeit, albeit less than a heifer.  Perhaps this being caused by a weird protein created by scientific efficiencies funded by the seeing of the research by a financier?

Alright, I'll stop before my subconscience sends me into a sufficient seizure...like Reveille VI.

Goodbye Old Friend

I just found out that my favorite author of my teenage years, Michael Crichton, died today of cancer.

I know it's cheesy to say, but I've never felt sad about a celebrity dying until now. Crichton had always been a bit of a role model for me. He was really tall. He went to Harvard Medical School (I really wanted to be a doctor). And the ideas and concepts that he penned were such an intricate stitching of current fact and future possibility, often mired in potential disaster. I spent a good many days in bed, pouring over his works old and new fascinated by the stories he created, but even moreso fascinated by the opening window of possibilities that he saw.

Crichton made the world an amazing place, where the incredible was just a little stretch further out, but warned us all that if we do not fully understand something, then we should be careful when trying to exploit it.

Goodbye old friend and hero. I hope one day we get to meet again for the first time.

Way to Stay Classy Fox

Headline image on Fox News the morning after the election:


Headline read in the order that your eyes naturally take you:
Obama, A World of Trouble, He Savors Victory.

Seriously Fox News, you couldn't hide your disdain any better than behind some blatant suggestiveness of your graphics? This is plain childish.

Yes We Will!

For the first time since I've been a voter I can finally say that the candidate that I voted for won, and won big.  I'm so happy, this is the first time in years that I can look at the letters USA and feel pride in who we are and what we can do as a country.

Tonight was one of the few nights where I felt like we really saw the best in people*.  McCain's speech was eloquent, kind and respectful.  It represented everything that I was sad this election lacked from him.  It was the first time he showed his heart, and in it you saw a good man and not an angry old person.  If only he had been that way the whole election instead of being a pawn of the Republican party, then this might have actually been a close race.

As for Obama's speech...wow.  I hope that we can become the country that he sees.  I'm blown away by statements showing real appreciation for his call from McCain, understanding that the US isn't alone in this world, pointing out how we can make our country better, and setting guiding principles for how we can take this country forward into the next 100 years. 

Now I am looking forward to seeing how the Obama administration is going to be pulled together, I think he will pull together some of the finest moderate minds that this country has ever seen and will actually respond rather than react to things going on in this world.  The only part that scares me though is the number of pardons and crap that the Bush administration is going to run through on the way out.  People that are criminals on both the governmental and business sides of the coin in all the crap that has happened this decade will simply skate away with Billions in blood money and a pardon in their pocket.

With this election finally our nation can move forward.  Finally we are no longer in the stagnation of a lame duck president & congress.  Finally we can take the steps that have been needed for so many years and begin moving forward to reassert ourselves not as a great power, but as a nation that is great.

God Bless the USA and I commend you on the decision you made tonight.



*Except the booing scumbags at John McCain's speech...what a bunch of loosers...must have been the Palin supporters.

Malting Gluten-free Grains - Part 2

From left to right:

1. Light-Roasted White Quinoa
   Malting Time: 2 days soak, 2 days malt*
   Roasting: 6 hours in dehydrator at 155 F
   Color: 3 SRM
   Smell: Sour, buttery, sweet (like kettle corn)
   Taste: Light, fresh, like horchata without cinnamon
   
   
2. Caramel Toasted White Quinoa
   Malting Time: 2 days soak, 2 days malt*
   Roasting: 1 hour in oven at 350 F
   Color: 15 SRM
   Smell: Sour, wort-like
   Taste: Light/Medium toasted, sour, no caramel notes
   
   
3. Light-Roasted Buckwheat
   Malting Time: 2 days soak, 2 days malt
   Roasting: 6 hours in dehydrator at 155 F
   Color: 1 SRM
   Smell: Earthy, nutty
   Taste: Nutty, dirt, smooth
   
   
4. Caramel Toasted Buckwheat
   Malting Time: 2 days soak, 2 days malt
   Roasting: 1.5 hours in oven at 350 F
   Color: 12 SRM
   Smell: Sweet (sweeter than Quinoa), nutty
   Taste: Roasted Nuts, lingering nuttiness,
   
   
5. Caramel Toasted Amaranth
   Malting Time: 2 days soak, 2 days malt
   Roasting: 1 hour in oven at 350 F
   Color: 10 SRM
   Smell: strong nuttiness, wort-like
   Taste: Smooth, light nuttiness,

Verdict:
Buckwheat doesn't really seem like that great of a grain for beer unless you're making something strong and want a nutty flavor.
Quinoa has a lot of cold break, but the flavors are somewhat resembling wort.
Amaranth is second only to millet in wort-likeness, should make a good base, but the grain is a bit expensive and rare, so likely will just be a fun addition for awhile. One problem that may arise is that since since the grain is so small the grains may slip right out of the grain bag.

*Quinoa soured slightly in the malt, likely explains a large chunk of the sour flavors. Recommend 1 day soak and then remove water and rinse 2x daily for 2-3 days.