The thoughts that were thunk and the goings on of my life.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Depicting My Life and Thoughts

I don't know who this guy is, or where he came from, but he says so many of the things that just touch my heart. So this post goes out to the man that makes me laugh and makes me realize that even with my artistic skills on the internet anything is possible!

This first drawing comes to you from my childhood. It needs to also contain the phrases: do the dishes, clean the bathroom and the living room, wipe your sister's butt, scrape the house, pick up sticks in the yard, pick up poo in the yard
babysit your sisters...

Our next selection comes to you from my present life. Look at the look of complete defeat in the stick figure's face. Take notice at how the words slowly pull you down to the level of despair that is felt by the protagonist. Notice the longing for a job that satisfies and the realization that comes when those dreams are squished like an Armadillo on a West Texas highway.

The final selection I dedicate to my brother Robert, with whom I slept in the same room for 14 years.

Friday, August 19, 2005

got lactation?

So this week we had our big annual conference and I'm walking around some of the Employee Only areas and I find a room with this sign on the door. My first thought was COWS! Then I realized I was on the second floor and there was little possibility of getting a glass of milk straight from a cow. Then it sunk in what the room was really supposed to be. It's so that mothers can nurse their babies. Why didn't they just call this a Nursing Room? It's not like a woman is going to just sit in a room and lactate. I might even understand if they chose Lactation Room because it's more PC and less harsh. But seriously, I almost walked right into the room looking for a glass of milk.

In other news, life is going well. Work is keeping me busy, but satisfied. Outside of work things are working really well. Family-wise things were interesting recently due to my former step-dad doing/saying everything a father shouldn't. (Oh, and I know you lurk on my site. If you want to email me to my face just do it. Just for peet's sake don't be an emotional thug to your own daughters.) Fortunately my mom and sister have gotten a chance to get away from everything and spend a little vacation time together. I can't believe that school's almost about to start for my little sister again. And she'll be in High School...crazy!

Big time congrats to Jeremy and Jessica who are getting married this weekend. If you haven't met them you should. They're the type of couple that more people should aspire to be like. I'm so glad to see that God has blessed the two of them. Oh, and for my FLIP friends. Jessica is Dana Kaderli's roommate from her freshmen year.

On a funner note the girl and I found this really neat looking moth right outside of my apartment today. I was pretty happy because for some reason when she comes over instead of pretty moths she is usually greeted by those huge roaches that like to fly towards your face. Then there's also the lovely June Bugs (aka Potatoe Beetles) that are too stupid to learn how to actually fly correctly. Or finally the hoard of ants that is continually terrorizing my kitchen and any product that might contain moisture. So to have a happy little moth just sitting there waiting to be petted...that was just dandy.

Finally since I am in a great mood (due to dancing and ice cream with aforementioned lady), I thought I would leave you with a few of the reasons why I love living in Texas in the summer.

Friday, August 12, 2005

I love the smell of Napalm in the morning

Some of us were sitting around work today trying to remember the name of a great game that we used to spend hours of time on. Finally one of us remembered the name...

Scorched Earth!
While the game has no real redeeming qualities it is a lot of fun to slowly tear away at your opponents and make them beg for mercy. Needless to say the next 30 minutes or so were promptly wasted finding the best way to destroy one another.

So for those of you who think you can handle all 10 rounds, have fun!

Note: For those of you who don't know what this game is you missed out. Basically you just want to change your trajectory and power so that you kill your opponents. If you win you get money. Money buys new weapons/defenses. You can then kill them more quickly. Great fun for all!

Other Games: Add Stunts to the fun old-school games list! Free cookie for whoever can show me where to download it.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Maturity at Its Best

So one of the things that I have to do while at work is file documentation for any bugs that I find in our products or documentation. Most of the time this is really important so that our customers can have the best, most accurate, and fully functioning products as possible. Typically it's a pretty serious process, but I'm not one to really let that get to me. Instead I decided to have a little fun the other day

Problem Description:
Numeric Control displays values that do not feel natural when changing the data format.

Steps To Reproduce:
[Changed so you can do it at home!]
1. Open Calculator (Start > All Programs > Accessories)
2. Go to View and change it to Scientific
3. Enter the number "184594917" into Calculator
4. Change to Hex (View > Hexadecimal)

Errant behavior should be seen. Suggest a workover.

[My Friend]: I would handle this/these myself, but I don't know if I'm up to it. Behavior like this requires a lot of support, underwire I would imagine. Maybe R&D Guy has more experience in this domain than I. I would suggest getting a large cup of coffee, a d-cup if you will, to handle this.

[Clueless R&D Guy]: Seems fine to me. BTW - When you investigate, please provide some feedback to Matt that he should be more explicit in what is wrong. What did he expect to happen that did not happen? What "errant behavior" is he talking about? ...[further clueless questions]... What?

[My Friend]: FYI, this was a joke. Please disregard this completely.

It cracks me up how clueless some people in R&D are. Could they not see this was a joke? Oh well, it's kind of endearing. And it's great to see the rest of the world is not quite as juvenile as I. At least I had my fun.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005


On my way to work this morning I got in the lane to make the turn in and thought about trying to juke around the guy so that I could actually not just creep the entire way into our facilities. I saw that it was an Accord in front of me, but then was hopeful by seeing the little silver and black V6 right next to the nameplate. Sliding back in my lane I had a moment of calm before my logical left brain realized that the extra power means nothing for Accords, but by then it was too late and I had to piddle behind the person slowly going from tailgating to way behind and back again.

What's the point of having a Honda Accord with a V6? I swear every time I get behind one of those stupid things it's going just as slow as if it said V2. Honda Accords are right up there with minivans and old people with walkers for how slow they go. Each corner they enter might as well have a gigantic speed bump and a baby carriage in it for stinking slow they go!

The saddest part is they could be great vehicles! Just look at the specs for an Accord versus my car. C'mon, you have 80 hp more than I do! But have you ever utilized it? No! I doubt that even 10% or those vehicles have ever seen anything on the red side of 4000 RPMs. (And those 10% probably did it on accident when their foot slipped off of the brake while they were in park.) Why? Because the drivers of these vehicles are lame. There is no reason they should have that power other than they think it makes them cooler, which it does not...just proves how lame they really are.

Cars like this should have systems where they shock the drivers when speeds below 10 mph are maintained for more than 30 seconds. While we're at it there should be tickets issued to all Accord and minivan drivers that attempt to enter the left-hand lane.

In the meantime I think I'm going to install some missile launchers on the front of my car so I don't have to deal with drivers that make a three-toed sloth look like it's in a hurry.