The thoughts that were thunk and the goings on of my life.

Sunday, June 20, 2004

Next Step, Sub-Machine Gun

I just had to write a quick blurb on here. Today I had the chance to go out and shoot guns for the first 'real' time. It was great, I learned how to shoot a pistol with deadly precision. Okay, you may be safe from a long ways off, but I was pretty happy with how closely clustered all of my shots were. In addition to pistols though, I also got to shoot one of the best guns in the world, the M-16 Carbine. This assault rifle is the main choice of the Marines...and now I know why, cause it's fun! The gun was almost too easy to aim and hit the target over and over again. Lastly, we got to shoot a .308 sniper rifle. My friends was saying he's going to get a sub-machine gun that we can try towards the end of the month, that should be really fun. Yeah, so we got to do pretty much everything, it was a blast, and now I can't wait till I too get to have a standoff with the government in my Montana ranch...wait no, I don't want to do that. Nevertheless, guns can be fun if not aimed at living things.

I hate writing papers. I know my prof doesn't want to read all 3500 words, so why does he assign that many!?!

Saturday, June 19, 2004

The New A&M

In the day to day glances in the mirror we miss so much, we miss the growing of the wrinkles on our faces, we don't notice that our whitening toothpaste doesn't work as well as it claims. But if we look at things from a broader perspective all of the sudden slight changes on a daily basis can accumulate into areas of massive growth. Recently, that's happened to me with this town that I used to love: College Station.

This town has changed so much since I came here back before the beginning of the millennium. I kinda feel like someone that just looked at photos and realized how much those around them have changed and how much they too have changed. Last night some old friends came down for a wedding and it was the first time in almost a year that I hung out with people that are older than I am. It was such a welcome thing for me, because I've been "the old guy" for so long. But I found out that in seeing them, I saw too how much the place has changed. For one, this school has gotten to be much preppier than it used to be. I swear the only people that used to get dressed up for class were freshmen, now most everybody not in Zachary does. Even when I went swimming today I saw no fewer than 3 girls with plastic surgery and only a scant few had never been to a tanning bed. Also, Northgate instead of being where the yokels are it's now where the soon to be yuppies go. Now I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing or a bad thing, but I do know that this place I'm going to be leaving for good in 2 weeks is so different than when I came to it.

Or is the real change within me? Perhaps all of the feelings of difference are just my projection of reality and the place has changed less than I thought. Just like the person staring at the photograph the images of the current and the past can never fully coincide. Is it simply the friends that have changed, moved on, or moved in…or is the reflection a true image of a place that is changing? I don’t know, but I know that I need to get out of here. A&M will soon be like the home that I grew up in: a place of many wonderful and fond memories, a place that I will love to visit; but also, a place that I know I wouldn’t be content to continue living in.

Friday, June 11, 2004

Need for a Moment of Lucidity

Today I sat around and just felt out of my element. Do you ever feel like there's something you should be saying but aren't? Some question you should ask, but it isn't there? Some person that you should talk to, but you don't know who? That's how I felt all day. I guess I need more sleep or need to get more caught up in school, or who knows. It's not that I'm really worrying, it's more that I just felt dumb, like things were whizzing by me today and that I didn't care...I don't like that.

So this weekend I'm going to try to catch up on school, but also take some time to just talk with the God and ask him what he wants me to do. Why is it that when things are busiest and we need Him most that we deny God our time? I wish it weren't so, but it's the perpetually repeating story of my life. I can't wait for a little more calm, a little less stress, and a little more time out in the sun. But until then, I hope that with his help I can excel and learn and show others his love thru my actions towards them.

In coming news, I'm going to go home for a bit this weekend, should be good to visit the family. Then coming back to watch "Big Otis" play in concert...I don't care about his music, but I REALLY want a shirt or something. Then on Sunday I'm going to work 'security' for George H.W. Bush's skydiving escapades to celebrate his 80th birthday. And maybe if I'm luck I'll get to meet him again.

Tidbit of the day:
Did you know that Nena Hagen's "99 Luftballons (99 Red Balloons)" is actually about CIA propaganda that was spread to eastern Europeans during the Cold War?
Learn More Here:

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Reality is more exciting than fiction

The deeds men (or women) do astound me. The fact that some people risk their lives for a dream, or that others hold steadfastly to their convictions regardless of the costs just amazes me. I have so much respect for people that live a life that they consider to have meaning derived from outside themselves. But what is it that I'm living for? What can I do to start sending my life in this direction? Or is it already headed in such a direction? Would I be willing to give my life for God, Country, or even a friend? I hope I never get put to the test, but I would like to think that I could for the first two without the last would depend upon which friend you're talking about.

Summer has been pretty hectic for me. My classes are having a LOT more reading than I thought they would and I'm really struggling to keep caught up with everything. But fortunately I think I'll be caught up soon. The actual collecting is fascinating. I'm taking one course on Military Strategy and we just discuss old battles and what was done right and wrong. It's really amazing and interesting to see how some people get caught because they are unwilling to change the paradigm of their thinking. My other class is just an edge of your seat thriller on Espionage. Learning what various countries have done to one another and getting a closer look at what's generally hidden from public view. The reading for that class is like reading a fiction novel. I can't believe that some of those things are true, and the fact that they are just makes me want to tip my hat to some people...or tip my bazooka(assuming I had one) at others.

Outside of school life...well, there's not really too much of that. Once reading is done, I get to do one thing per night, and then it's time to study some more. It's busy, but that's the way life should be and I'm glad of it.

Anyways, the night is getting late and I need to wake up a little earlier tomorrow than I have prior days this week.

Classroom Quotes:
"If you bring a knife to a gunfight, you're going home in a body bag." -J.R. Starch
"I'll swear on a stack of bibles." -J.R. Starch

Thursday, June 03, 2004

Uncle! Uncle!

My nephew, Gabriel Alexander Morron 

The other week while I was at camp, my brother and his wife had their first baby...making me an uncle for the first time! He's really cute, but I'm still a little afraid to hold him, cause his head's all floppy and I don't wanna break him. He was BIG too, weighing in at 9 lbs and a whole 22 inches long. I can't wait until he grows up, so I can be that fun/weird uncle that every kid wants.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Thank You's for an Unknown Ear

When I was growing up, I have to admit that I was a pretty wussy kid. I wouldn't put any more effort into something than the bare minimum, I really hated who I was, and I felt like I was an outcast from the rest of the kids my age. At the time I did what all people do: I felt like I was the only one who was/felt this way. Then along came a person that looked into me and saw who I was. Unlike me though, they could look at me from the outside, they didn't see all of the junk that clogged my vision from the inside out. They knew that I was just a boy that was struggling to get along, but had so much potential if somebody would just invest in them.

This too is something that I thought was unique to me, but fortunately it isn't. I'm sure each of us can think back to a particular someone who believed in us when we didn't, and thought more of ourselves than we did. That one person is likely gone from our lives, but oh, the impact they made! Perhaps for you that person helped you to decide where you wanted to go with your life. Or maybe they just saved you from a bully and helped you to gain enough courage to stand up for yourself. For me that person was a man named Dr. John Rogers. He was the first person that really believed in me and showed me that I could be more. He recommended me to be an exchange student, pointed my life in the direction it is now heading, caused me to want to try harder at what I do, and helped to teach me the value of saying thank you.

But saying 'thank you' is something that I will never be able to because I never realized how important he was to my life until he had passed thru my life. Since that time that he helped me, I've no clue how to contact him, tell him how much he meant to me, or just show him the man I've become. I thought until recently that I was unique, but from the conversation with my dad, I came to realize that each of us is touched by someone at a critical point in our lives. Perhaps that person is one that will build us, but more sadly, what if that person was the one that led us to want to kill ourselves? Or to give up because life 'isn't worth it'? How tragic would it be if at some critical moment in our growth that we were torn down instead of built up?

That's why I'm so excited about this summer. I'm going to spend several weeks so that I can help some kid realize that he has inherent worth, that I think he's great how God made him, and that if he sets his mind and will to it that he can be an even greater man. I don't know who the person is in your life that may have done the same for you, but I do know there is probably someone you'll never really be able to thank because it was too late when you realized what all they had done for you.