The Office

Within a day of getting back from my honeymoon, I found out that while I was gone my manager (Boss Level 2 on a 1-3 scale, 3 being highest) at work did what he could to sabotage my career by taking things I had said to him in private out of context and then making it sound like I was an awful employee that only wanted to harm the company.

Meanwhile the only person that could really help me out and prove that I was doing a good job was Boss Level 1. Unfortunately for me, he is a complete and total corporate suck-up who instead of doing what was right and showing instances of where I had done exemplary work saw that Bosses Level 2-3 wanted vilifying information…so he produced it, even if it was wrong, filtered thru his workaholicism, and mildly slanderous. So in an attempt to make me want to appreciate them as a management team Boss Level 1 and 3 pulled me aside and said that if I make another mistake I’m fired, and then pulled several other things out of context to try to make a case. Hindsight, if they actually had anything on me, they would have fired me right away, but you can’t really fire somebody just because you don’t get along with them or don’t like them, and my performance figures were thru the roof…I highly recommend this route to make sure that you don’t get illegitimately canned, have lots of tangible work you are always accomplishing. The biggest insult of it all was that Boss Level 2 never had the balls to see me face-to-face about any of it, he then quit the company 2 weeks later, undeserving suck-up Boss Level 1 is now Boss Level 2, and Boss Level 3 continues to refuse to talk with me as a normal person. It is kinda funny though, because I’m bigger than any of them, I can actually see the fear in their eyes every time they have a ‘meeting’ with me. I really enjoy that. Being a rather intimidating figure really helps in negotiations.

I would like to say I’m over the whole incident and that I got my act together and all is better. But that’s not the case. A few positions came open that I was the most qualified person for, and Boss Level 2 & 3 went behind my back and told the other groups and told them that they recommended against me getting the position because I had behavioral issues! They had nothing on me other than that Boss Level 2 had some unknown issue against me (which was later confirmed by mutual friends that he mentioned me by name outside of work). I guess this was a good lesson for me in several things:

1. Nobody above you at work is your friend, even if they claim they are.
2. If you ever make a joke about something make sure it is NOT written via email or instant message. It can always be pulled out of context and used to vilify.
3. Passive-aggressive ‘happy’ behaviors are actually perceived by management as actual happy behaviors.
4. Suck up to upper level management and make sure they know about all of the ‘awesome’ things you are doing.
5. Remember that managers control your future pay raises.
6. Try to work for a company that bases their pay on Performance and not Merit. Merit is impossible to prove other than by the feelings of the management. Performance is simple math and therefore less susceptible to manipulation.
7. It doesn’t really matter how much you make if you’re miserable.
8. If you tell people a lie over and over often enough, and they have no basis for comparison then most will actually believe you when you tell them they have it really nice.
1. While my company professes it’s a great place to work, many, many people secretly loathe the place and all it stands for.
9. God, friends, and family are probably the 3 most important things on the planet when you’re low.

Things are great now though. I am a totally awesome instructor, so I got out of the support group and am now the only person in my company that is a full time course instructor. It’s been great so far to be under new management, allowed to be reviewed for what I actually do, and most importantly I feel like what I do makes a small impact on the world and leads towards what I would like to do one day, which is be a professor and a crossing guard at an elementary school. My job actually is harder now than it was, means I need to work more hours, wear fancier clothes, and get up way earlier, but I love it. It’s so much better of a way to spend my life than simply trying to duck around management that’s pretty much only self-promoting and completely subjective in their reviews.